It’s too much, I can’t afford it. It’s too many trips back to back. I can’t ask my wife to stay home again and take care of everything. I can’t make it work! I am not even going to try.
That would have been my instinctive reaction not too long ago when faced with the situation I am in right now.
Let’s backtrack. Back in 2016, after returning to Thailand for the third time, I came up with a tradition of going back every three years. “I will come back every three years”, I said to myself. It will be my little tradition. I’ll do a solo trip and return to the same country every three years. It will be interesting to see where I am in life each time I come back. Some things will remain the same, and for sure some things will be totally different. I will be back in a familiar place and reflect on how both the place and I have changed during that time. It will be a time to relax, reflect, and enjoy.
As I have written in the past (here and here), I love Thailand, and I’m proud to say that, so far, I’ve kept my tradition of going back every three years (2013, 2016, 2019/2020, 2023).
Originally, when I set this goal, I thought three years was a long time, enough to plan and prepare for the next trip. But something weird happened this time, two years went by in the blink of an eye and I completely forgot that early next year would be three years from the last time I went to Thailand.
This January, when I was thinking about what I wanted to do this year, I realized that I had already planned two big trips: one in July, to bike ride to Austria, and one in December/January, to attend a Vipassana meditation retreat in the Netherlands. I had forgotten that early next year would be three years from the last time I was in Thailand! Time went by fast. This meant I had planned all of this without considering where my Thailand trip would fit in, both timewise and moneywise. Time passed so quickly that I didn’t even publish what I wrote during my 2023 trip.
It would be easy to say that I am asking for too much, to take 3 trips on my own in the span of 6 months, that I am not ready for the trip, that I can’t make it work, that there’s not enough time or money with a family around, that it was just a silly tradition I came up with when I was single and had fewer responsibilities. But, as you know, I like a challenge.
Luckily, some years ago I learned to rephrase my negative thoughts. Instead of saying, “I can’t afford it”, I can ask myself, “How can I afford it?” Instead of saying “I can’t make it work”, I can ask “How can I make it work?” This simple rephrasing has been extremely beneficial in my life. Yes, it can be a challenge to find the answer, but at least there is the possibility of one instead of giving up right away.
So, one of my goals this year is to make this trip happen, to coordinate with my family (and our budget) a way for me to continue my tradition and return in early 2026. Right now, it’s just a rough plan, but I am putting it out there, so you can be my accountability partner: early next year, I am going back and continuing my tradition!
So what about you?
What is a tradition you’ve been following? Or maybe you had a tradition that you didn’t keep for one reason or another. Or is there a tradition you would love to have/start? How could you apply this rephrasing technique to the reason you haven’t done it yet?
Sometimes, just putting it out there, vocalizing it, can kickstart you on your journey.
P.S. If you are interested, here is what I wrote in 2023 when I was in Thailand the last time:
Chiang Mai, Thailand
February 10th, 2023
I did it! It’s three years later, and I’m back in Thailand. I feel very lucky to be here again in Chiang Mai, one of the last places I went before the pandemic started. If I remember correctly, my last day here was January 1st, 2020, before the world changed drastically. Now, the world is mostly back to normal and here everything feels the same as before, but what feels completely different is my life.
The last time I was here, I was single, working as an engineer for the City of San Diego, saving and investing, so I could retire as soon as possible. I had big goals for 2020, traveling and exploring the world (you can read them at the end of this post). Most of the things I had planned never happened, but what ended up happening was much better than anything I could have planned. Now, I am married to this beautiful woman named Antonia, I am a father to a beautiful kid called Emilio, I quit my job over two years ago and haven’t had to work a day since (or at least it doesn’t feel like work. ;-)). I have lived in different countries and traveled all over England, Scotland, Germany, and México. Life has been great.
As I had written before, I like to come to Thailand at least once every three years, and I’m extremely grateful that I have been able to maintain the tradition since 2013 (2013,2016, 2019/2020, 2023). Every time I come, I am in a different stage of my life, and coming back to the same place helps me see how much my life has changed, but how at the same time I am still the same person.
This time, I came mainly to hang out with my friends from the Financial Independence Community (FI), and it has been great. I’ve learned new things, had fun, reconnected with the things I want to work on this year, and more importantly, I reconnected with myself, and I’ve had great conversations with my FI friends. I’ve noticed how important the people you surround yourself with are, the kinds of conversations you have, and your outlook on life. The friends I’ve seen here are traveling the world, writing books, creating courses, giving away their knowledge, learning, challenging themselves, and getting out of their comfort zones. Very inspiring. After spending time with them, I feel energized, inspired, and happy.
I feel very fortunate to have a wife who supports me and encourages me to take time for myself, even if that means two weeks on another continent. I don’t take that for granted. I also feel very fortunate to have the means to take a trip like this without worrying about vacation days or money. I feel free and in control of my life.
There aren’t many things I know I’ll want to do for the rest of my life, one is to go to a meditation retreat at least once a year, and the other is to visit Thailand at least once every three years. Who knows what my life will look like in 2026? I’m excited to find out.
